We played three shows in the great state of Texas and each had its unique charms. The first show was in Houston. We played in a big open bar called Walter’s on Washington, which appears to be primarily a venue for metal shows and which had far and away the worst-smelling men’s bathrooms of the tour.

The crowd at the show was very supportive and they loved to dance. One of the dancers was a man wearing an afro wig and a pair of tight gold shorts with the crotch stuffed. After the show we talked to him and his partner, who was a professional ballet dancer for the Houston Ballet. They complimented our dance moves and I appreciated it, coming from an actual dancer!

A group of women who stood near the stage – one of whom was dressed up like Leslie Hall – were among the most enthusiastic dancers. Later in the evening we met these women and discovered that they were all artists associated with alternative art spaces in Houston. The woman who dressed like Leslie was named Elaine and she let us stay at her place. Her apartment was completely packed with strange art objects. Everywhere I looked there was crazy shit I’ve never seen. I asked if I could try on an oversized animal suit hanging in her kitchen and – after informing me that it was an artwork made by one of her friends and I needed to be careful with it – she said okay. Elaine is currently working on a commissioned sculpture of a sweater-wearing elephant shooting sweaters out of its trunk onto taxidermied geese.

The following night we played in Austin. We were very excited for this show because of the mystique of magical Austin, but also because we knew we’d be seeing Iowa friends. Our good friends Philip, Dominic and Hillary happened to be in Austin on the same night as us because Dominic’s band Coyote Slingshot was playing at a bar right across the street from where we played. We hooked up with them before the show for dinner and the next day for lunch. Dom was sick with strep throat but he was still in good spirits. Philip and Dominic are the band Utopia Park (which used to be called Porno Galactica). Utopia Park and Coyote Slingshot are two of my favorite bands. Check ‘em out:

www.myspace.com/pornogalactica

www.myspace.com/coyoteslingshot

Before the show, our host for the evening, Chance, took us to a bridge right beside the downtown area to watch a daily ritual. Right as the sun started to set, a flock of bats flew out from under the bridge and swarmed above the river like mosquitoes. Then another flock flew out, then another. This goes on until its completely dark outside. It happens every day and people come and watch. We had to leave before it was all done because, hey, we’re not here to watch some fuckin bats, we’re here to blow people’s mind with rock and roll.

The Austin show was a total blast. For the first time on the tour, we played outdoors, which was a treat. There were over 350 people at the show, which was the biggest turnout so far. There was also a big Iowa contingent at the show and that always is a good sign. Every time Iowa was mentioned, people screamed and screeched and we screamed right along with them. Leslie’s show was really wild, too, and the crowd demanded on encore. She played “Tight Pants” for the encore and Chris, Derek and I ran onto stage at the chorus and did the choreographed dance with the ladies.

The next night brought us to Denton. I’d been wanting to check out Denton because I know a number of bands from that town and they are all really weird and good. I took a little walk when we arrived and wandered into a used book and record store that was much larger than it appeared from outside. I wish I had some money because I would’ve bought some great records.

The Denton show was on a Sunday night, but still a big fun crowd came out to see the show. They were up for a good time, especially a pair of professed Hansen fans in the front row that squealed every time Chris did his most soulful vocals. Man, if Chris was trying to get laid every night, he’d have no problem. That’s not his style though.

Tour tip #7: Make an effort to stay hydrated. It’s very easy to become dehydrated on tour. When you’re driving a lot you tend to drink lots of coffee and energy drinks to stay alert and those fluids make you urinate more and lose water. On top of that, you play at bars and parties and drink lots of beer and that dehydrates you, too. Keep a water bottle with you and drink lots of water. You’ll have to take more bathroom breaks when driving, but it’s worth it: you’ll be healthier.