Ames Progressive

A couple weeks ago John McCain was falsely claiming that Iran was busy training not Shiites but al-Qaeda Sunnis to kill Americans, presumably in another feeble attempt to cave to the powerful anti-intelligence faction of his party and fabricate more nonsense to keep the Middle East blood flowing. He repeated this “mistake” on several occasions, even after warmonger extraordinaire Joe Lieberman whispered a correction into his ear at a press conference in Jordan and on TV sets around the world.

Now McCain’s at it again, pretending not to know that condoms help prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. Reported The New York Times’ Caucus blog:

Reporter: “Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?”

Mr. McCain: “Well I think it’s a combination. The guy I really respect on this is Dr. Coburn. He believes – and I was just reading the thing he wrote– that you should do what you can to encourage abstinence where there is going to be sexual activity. Where that doesn’t succeed, than he thinks that we should employ contraceptives as well. But I agree with him that the first priority is on abstinence. I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I’m not very wise on it.”

(Mr. McCain turns to take a question on Iraq, but a moment later looks back to the reporter who asked him about AIDS.)

Mr. McCain: “I haven’t thought about it. Before I give you an answer, let me think about. Let me think about it a little bit because I never got a question about it before. I don’t know if I would use taxpayers’ money for it.”

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

Q: “But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: ‘No, we’re not going to distribute them,’ knowing that?”

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) “Get me Coburn’s thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn’s paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I’ve never gotten into these issues before.”

Tom Coburn, who enthusiastically embraces his party’s religious zealots in the U.S. Senate with fellow Oklahoma science opponent Jim Inhofe, has supported Bush’s President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief for years. It’s a brilliantly stupid plan that spreads misinformation about sex, censors information about the benefits of condom use, and forces African nations to teach an exclusively abstinence-until-marriage ideology and sign anti-prostitution pledges to shun sex worker relief in order for the countries to receive U.S. aid.

The $15 billion program was reauthorized by the House Foreign Affairs Committee in February.

So in other words, McCain claimed that he might be opposed to federal funding for HIV/AIDS prevention but fully supports the president’s federally funded program. And that as someone who’s been married twice, fathered seven children, and once held a strong reputation as a ladies’ man, he knows nothing about sexual intercourse.

At least he admitted he was off the Straight Talk Express, where any alleged straight talk must still be candid and off the record.

Still, Africa loves Bush, Bush reminded us all with his shit-eating grin throughout his trip there earlier this year. But even though the president’s policies have served only to spread sexually transmitted infections, his warm embrace makes sense: any money’s better off than no money at all, especially considering it’s coming from a man who acts like a drunken sailor.