You smudged your revolution across the face of that boy.
You sent him stumbling out of the bar
Like a child scattering his sweat out of the ruined village.
Years after, he’d feel phantom pain in the center of his chest
when it rained or snowed
or broke out a few splinters of sunshine.
He’d feel your words like shrapnel.
You rushed across the barrier
Red and red and red, a fucking spectacle
Trashy as a dirty word in a foreign language,
you ran around Berlin your freedom songs
clamoring behind you, clinking like tin cans on a marriage car.
The flies buzzed around your tearducts in that unbearable Russian summer.
A single afternoon when you dreamed up that sugarplum acid dream
A big diamond and a home with a white picket fence
Painted an extra coat to hide the membrane of sweat from the worker’s backs.
Wearing paint thick as fur to conceal your naked phrase:
“I’ll make you see
I’ll hold open your eyelids, made heavy by the imitation designer handbag
Slung over the weary shoulders of your waitress daughter, pregnant
with numbers, full of the blue cotton candy fibers
left over from the carnival of American dreams
which will someday fatten her for the kill.”
They shut you off in September, sedated with the balm of college amnesia.
life gave you more lemonade than you could possibly want
and there you sat, fat with their acceptance
mouth bare as a clean newborn
sterile in the arms of its new mother.